Tag Archives: christian living

No one cares, Samuel.

Some kid’s book are pretty terrible.

Some are cute, some rhyme, some are playful, some have wonderful illustrations.  And some just suck.

We got one real gem from a kid’s meal.  Usually Chick-Fil-A has some good books like Clifford the Big Red Dog,  but Wild Animal Baby has a pretty rough plot line.  Try to follow me here.

Page 1-2: “Polly the Polar Bear.  Polly and her mom live where it is cold and snowy.”  OK, not bad so far.

Page 3-4: “Polly likes to climb on her Mom’s back and go for a ride.  When Polly and her mom get tired, they snuggle together for a nap.” Not bad, it’s cute and fuzzy.

Page 5-6: “Numbers.  How many puffins can you count?  Four puffins stand on a hillside.”  What! What happened to Polly?  You build the story and then just dismiss the bears?

Page 7-8: “Samuel can jump!  Can you jump?  Look at the kangaroo jump.” Where are the puffins?  Who the heck is Samuel?  How did we circumnavigate from the arctic to Australia?  Why is there suddenly a creepy skunk wearing overalls in the corner?

samuel

Page 9-10: “Look at the animal shape.  It is a duck.  Can you find the real duck on the next page?”  So…Samuel got killed off already?  Did a dingo eat him?  I’m so lost.

I’m certainly not saying that all children’s book need to have character depth and significant plot development, but there should at least be one train of thought, right?  And the language.  The language should at least reflect how people talk.  Try this line on for size:

“You burst upon our world like a comet, like birdsong in the silver silence of dawn, and how could we help but love you?”

If that’s not some over-thought poetic nonsense, I’m not sure what is.  Indulge me, tell me when the last time you used the phrase “silver silence of dawn”?

Don’t get me wrong, I love reading to my kids.  I love Dr. Seuss as much as the next dad.  My favorite is The Foot Book.  I read it all the time when I was a kid.  My dad and I would alternate reading pages and by the time we were done I had it all memorized.  I like the books that give me the chance to do voices or find an appropriate time to tickle the kids and make them laugh.

To say that today at work was challenging might be an understatement.  When I came home, two screaming things wielding plastic weapons sprinted toward me for a hug.  In approximately sixteen seconds, I learned what my son was just doing, that he was reprimanded for having an accident, that he went to Target and that he was highly curious about whether or not I had spaghetti in my belly.  After a long and stressful day all I wanted to do was sit down in silence.  But, instead I was assaulted with reading material.  During the first book, a Paddington Bear thriller, I read it without much passion and probably just exhaled in impatience the whole time.

But, then we read another one called Count Your Blessings.

I opened the book, having never read it before and was largely pessimistic about how much fun it was going to be.

Page 1-2: “I have so many blessings that I cannot count them all.  And they are very big even though I’m still so small.”  Great, I thought, this one is starting off nice and cheesy.

Page 3-4: “I’ve got seven happy days a week to rise and shine.  Six pretty morning glories bloom and twine.”  Oh yeah, lay on the cheese nice and thick.

Page 5-6: “Five bitsy toes to wriggle in the sand.  Four funny finger puppets on my hand.”  Why do we have so many books that use the word ‘wriggle?

Page 7-8: “Three cheerful friends who giggle and play.  Two little hands I fold to pray.”  Hmm, I haven’t prayed much today.

Page 9: “One little me with lots of love, counting all my blessings from the Lord above.”  You know, work was tough, but I do have a pretty good job that takes care of all my family’s financial needs.

Page 10: “Dear God, thank you for all my blessings for each new day, for the beautiful earth, for my amazing (yeah it said that) body, for all that gives me joy, for my friends and family.  Thank you for listening to me.  I love you!  Amen.”

Oh.

I don’t think reading this book was for my kid’s benefit.  I think it was for mine.

I seem to have forgotten my own advice.  There’s a retired coach that runs the gym where I play basketball each week.  God had placed him on my heart and I have been building a friendship with him.  It started by talking about the NBA playoffs and built to me asking him if I could pray for him during the week.  He wanted me to pray that his spirits would be uplifted.  I told him I would be praying for him and I did all week and continue to do so.  Last week, I shared with him that I had been praying for him all week and that he should read Isaiah 12.  It’s a passage that really stood out to me recently as I’ve been reading through the book of Isaiah.  The passage says:

1 In that day you will say: “I will praise you, O LORD. Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me. 2 Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” 3 With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. 4 In that day you will say: “Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted. 5 Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world. 6 Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.”

God is my salvation.  God is awesome.  God has done glorious things.  A bad meeting doesn’t take that away.  A missed day at the gym or the fact that your DVR didn’t record your favorite marathon doesn’t give us reason to wallow in our self-pity.  This is a no-wallow zone.

It’s pretty hard to sit on the couch feeling sorry for yourself when you have your arms filled with beautiful, energetic kids who only want to hug on you and have you read them cheesy stories.

In the immortal words of philosopher Ice Cube, “It was a good day.”

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One Fish, Two Fish. Dead Fish, Flush Fish.

Dun. Dun. Dun. Another One Bites the Dust.

Sadly, this will be the last post in the Trilogy of the Fish. It started here when we were given two fish (Siggi and Devo) over the weekend. Next, things escalated quickly when Siggi really did go “swimming with the fishes.” Then, yesterday I got the following texts from my wife.

Devo's dead.

Devo’s dead.

In the matter of just a few days, our kids had their first pets, their first experience with death and their first blasé response when confronted with death. Luckily (I think), we still have our loud, fat, missing-toothed bag of fur named Gilligan. He’s a 12ish-year-old cat and a cancer survivor. Yeah, he had a lumpectomy a few years ago. I’m pretty certain that Gilligan is immortal, so my kids can love on him for decades to come.

I got Gilligan when I was in college. He has lived in eight different residences, with two different college roommates, two different dogs, a cat, a wife and now two kids. During the day, the kids constantly want to yell at him, hug him, attempt to cut him with a toy knife (from a kitchen set), sit on him, cuddle with him, ski behind him while holding his tail and chase him. His tolerance for putting up with crap is low. Gilligan goes from I-love-you-I-love-you-pet-me-pet-me to I’m-gonna-punch-you-in-the-face in about six seconds flat.

Gilligan laying on a kid's puzzle box top

Gilligan laying on a kid’s puzzle box top

Gilligan has been a great pet. He’s put up with a lot. He’s brought a lot of laughs. He gave me companionship during some of the biggest moments of my life. He was with me in my first apartment by myself after college. He was with me when I moved into my first house. Gilligan was around when I got married (not in person) and when our kids were born (again, not in person).

Gilligan has helped protect our home, as evidenced here:

There (might) be a day when Gilligan gets bored enough with this world and decides to move on. When he does, our son will certainly wonder where Gilligan has gone. Our kids weren’t around the fish enough to really care about them, but they have been around the fur bag for their entire lives, and over a third of my life.

Once that day comes, it will surely be sad, but I see a silver lining. It gives me a teaching moment to describe a real heaven where we will go one day. I can describe the scene that John writes about in Revelation, minus all the wrath, destruction and pre-tribulational theology. Rylan read the chapter in his kid’s Bible tonight about Revelation. He loves the part that says, “Jesus will return again soon.”

I used to have visions where I was standing at the end of a diving board. Below me was a huge black chasm. The visions made me fearful and filled with anxiety over life, afterlife and my purpose. But, something happened. Once I started growing in my faith, exploring the truth and seeking answers, the visions drifted away. I know where my future home will be. I have complete comfort and peace in knowing where I will be once my body fails me.

In order to prepare for that day, I suppose I should put some thought in what I want done with my body so we can document the instructions. Casket? Cremation? Or flush down the toilet like Devo and Siggi?

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10 Life Lessons from the Movie Big

You know the scene.  Josh and Billy are walking down the street after a busy day of being kids.  They start singing –

The space goes down, down baby, down, down the roller coaster. Sweet, sweet baby, sweet, sweet, don’t let me go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. I met a girlfriend – a triscuit. She said, a triscuit – a biscuit. Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shelly’s out, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma’s credit. I’m cool. I’m hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.

I have no idea what this song is, but I know that I’ll never forget it.

Big_Poster

Big came out the day after my 7th birthday in 1988.  If you’ve never seen this movie before, immediately stop what you’re doing and head to Netflix.  In case you haven’t seen this piece of cinematic wonder in a while, here’s a brief summary.   The movie is about a 12-year-old boy, Josh Baskin, who wishes to be ‘big’ in order to fit in and win over a lady.  The morning after he makes the wish, he wakes up a 30-year-old man (Tom Hanks).

I have no idea how many times I’ve seen the movie, but it’s somewhere around 174 (just guessing).  Here are 10 lessons to apply to your life immediately.

1. Be happy with who you are…and when you are.

Zoltar Speaks

Zoltar Speaks

Josh was so frustrated with being a small 12-year-old and he just couldn’t stand it any more. After dropping a coin in the Zoltar Speaks machine, he wishes to completely bypass the most important years of his young life and skip right to being an adult just to fit in.  While you’re ‘growing up’ you have a lot of milestones to look forward to.

  • 10-years-old – double digits!
  • 13-years-old – you’re a teenager!
  • 16-years-old – you can drive!
  • 18-years-old – you can vote / you graduated high school!
  • 21-years-old – you can drink!
  • 25-years-old – you can save on insurance!
  • 30-years-old – you can kiss your youth goodbye!

After a while, there’s not a lot of personal milestones to anticipate.  Soon, you start getting excited about those milestones for your own kids.  No matter what age you are, you’re going to feel somewhat unfulfilled, too young, too old, too early, too late, too awkward, too skinny, too fat, too short, too tall, too carefree, too worrisome, too too too.  If we spend all our days waiting for what’s next, we’ll forget to pay attention of what’s going on now.  In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

God made us in his image.  He planned for our existence at this very time.  He didn’t plan for us to be around in 1730 or 600 or 300 B.C.  He chose for you to be here now.  He chose the way we look.  He chose our skills.  He chose our weaknesses.  When we try to force changes or wish upon a Zoltar, we’re telling God that we think our plans are more important.*

*(They aren’t.)

2. Don’t forget about your friends.

big_joshbilly

As we get older our circle of influence grows wider and wider with the people we work with, go to church with or parents of the friends our kids hang out with.  But, I think over time our inner circle of really close friends thins out.  Graduation, relocation and reproduction all pull us away from the friends we used to see all the time.

During one scene, Josh and Billy are arguing because Josh’s job is consuming all his time.  Josh tells Billy that job is important.

Billy replies, “I’m your best friend. What’s more important than that, huh?”

We need to embrace our friends, both literally and figuratively.  Take the time to call people.  I struggle with this.  I get selfish with my time.  I might be on a three-hour drive across the state, but I just want to zone out and listen to music.  I truly miss several of my friends and I love that I can pick up where I left off with many of them.  It’s been hard moving to a new city and having to build my friend base over again.  I miss cutting up with my friends.  I miss serving my friends.  I miss being able to give them an actual hug (my man-card says I can do that from time to time.)

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”

3. Realize that things are temporary.

big_apartment

Greatest.  Apartment.  Ever.  What kid (heck, what adult) didn’t want this bachelor pad.  Josh had a Pepsi machine (mine would have been Coke, but still…) in his apartment!  He had ridiculously high ceilings and a massive trampoline outfitted with rubber balls.  He had a basketball hoop.  Inside.  He had bunk beds (“I get to be on top!”)  He had a 6′ godzilla-blow-up-thing and pinball games.  This place was awesome.

But, Josh started to fall in love.  As he did, more and more of his time was spent at his girlfriend’s place, or out on dates.  Eventually, he started realizing how out of place he was and how much he just wanted to be back home as a kid.  His things became less and less important.  You could walk in his apartment and think he had the world on a string, but inside Josh was insecure and scared.

Who are we once you strip away all our belongings?  How much do we rely on our things for joy instead of relationships with God, family or friends?

4. You’re never too old to have fun.

This is probably the most iconic scene in Big and one of the most timeless scenes ever.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing…”

5. Speak up if you don’t understand something.

A co-worker and I have created our own term.  When a vendor is trying to explain something to us and we just don’t quite follow what they are saying, we say that we “Tom Hanks it.”  Simply, this just means that the value proposition or main point is not being clearly communicated.

In this scene, Josh doesn’t understand how anyone could have fun with a building that turned into a robot.

6. You don’t have to blend in.

big_tuxedo

For the record, I believe that everyone should own a great piece of thrift store formal wear.  I have a couple of pretty stellar suits that haven’t been in style since Big came out.  I quite enjoy wearing them when I get the opportunity.

Josh made a heck of an entrance when he showed up to a company event dressed in an all-white tuxedo.  He didn’t blend in with all the other traditional black penguin-style tuxedos in the room.  If we were all preoccupied with being someone else, no one would be themselves.

7. Do things on your own terms.

big_dollars

Josh Baskin’s first paycheck working for the toy company was for $187.30.  Josh went to the bank (this was way before auto-draft) to cash his check and the cashier asked him a profound question.  “How do you want that?”

“Three dimes, a hundred-dollar bill and 87 ones.”

We should do what we want every now and then.  God still wants us to have fun.  He kinda invented it.  We have the physical ability to feel fun, excitement and spontaneity.

Ecclesiastes 3:13 reminds us that God wants us to have enjoyment, “Also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.”

8. Do what you love.

Billy: So you got a job, where you play with all these toys.

Josh: Yup!

Billy: And they’re gonna pay you for that!

Josh: Yup!

Billy: SUCKERS!

Colossians 3:23-24 tell us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Whether we are working in ministry or in secular careers, we should be working to benefit the Lord and we should love doing it.  Not everyone is called to work in ministry.  Some are called to serve in other industries that keep the world moving.  We need doctors, teachers, farmers, assembly line workers, white collars, blue collars and volunteers.  We need to prayerfully consider how our career could impact the church body and how our own personal ministries can penetrate the workplace.

9. Throw thermal pod.

big_wizard

Early in the movie, Josh is playing an old-school computer game and he can’t get past a certain level.  He is standing among slain ice dwarfs and has to defeat the evil wizard, but has no idea how.  Eventually, as Josh’s life experiences influenced him and gave him wisdom, he revisits the game and conquers the evil wizard with the command “throw thermal pod.”

We need to intentionally pray for wisdom to overcome our current and future dilemmas.  Solomon prayed and his “wisdom was greater than the wisdom of all the men of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt.”

There are over 200 references to wisdom throughout Scripture.  Job 12:12 says, “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”

10. Hug your mom.

big_mom

For heaven’s sake, hug your mom.

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The Day Noah Left

2001 was 12 years ago.  What’s up with that?

To put in perspective how this concept has blown my mind, here are some things that happened way back then.

  • Steve Jobs introduced the first iPod

  • A gallon of gas was $1.46
  • Dale Earnhardt, Sr. died in a crash at the Daytona International Speedway
  • The XFL was launched and subsequently flopped

xfl

  • The most popular movies included Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Shrek, Ocean’s Eleven and Pearl Harbor
  • Dharma & Greg, Everybody Loves Raymond and the Drew Carey Show were still on television
  • Terrorists attacked the US on 9/11 killing thousands of people

ny-times-september-12

  • Oklahoma Sooners beat the Florida State Seminoles (sadly) 13-2 in the Orange Bowl
  • Baltimore Ravens won the SuperBowl 34-7 over the New York Giants.  Ray Lewis was the MVP.
  • This was the top song of the year:

In 2001, I was entering my junior year of college.  I was enjoying waking up late and eating food from the cafeteria.  That year, our lacrosse team was 4-7.  That year, I broke up with someone for the first time.  I like to refer to that day (October 3, but I’m not keeping track) as my Independence Day.

So much has changed since 2001 both in our culture and in our lives.  I was a happy student, surrounded by impressive grades and great friends.  But, I was missing something and didn’t even know it.  God was doing a work in me that I wouldn’t see for many years to come.

During my junior year, I started taking the first of a couple semesters of poetry writing.  I recently remembered the following poem illustrating where my thoughts were at the time.

 

Today I watched Noah sail away

everyone in town had been helping him build

they’ve been working for weeks

I’ve been sleeping for years

but I heard he wasn’t going by himself

so I washed in the best stream, put on my best white suit

and brought my tools, even though I’m not a very good carpenter

 

As I walked up to the side of the ark

I was pushed aside by a pair of antelopes,

two beavers followed, damn, and some camels, too

even a couple of doves flew overhead. I didn’t see them though

but I knew they were there.

they seemed to have dropped a little something on my shoulder

 

So I took off my white jacket, hung it from the branch of an apple tree

and then the skies turned from friendly to mean, light to dark,

I heard a heavy thump at my feet, it was a ladder

and Noah, his wife and sons and their wives, and hundreds of animals

looked down and waited

 

Looking at the bottom rung of the ladder,

I realized all I had left were some problems

and a black umbrella to hide me from the rain.

 

It’s very humbling to look back at this poem and see how God was filling my thoughts and convicting me about how I was missing him.  It would be another couple years before I would make a decision to commit my life to following Christ, but the Holy Spirit was already working on me.  Poetry has always helped me understand myself.  The subconscious creeps in and lingers.

The loneliness, abandonment and disappointment I was feeling when I wrote the poem is completely different now.  God has accepted me.  Christ has redeemed me.  The Holy Spirit guides me.  The emptiness I felt has been replaced with hope.  The desperation I felt has been replaced with joy and satisfaction.  The shame I felt has been replaced with love.  I thought I was completely unworthy, but Christ showed me my value.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.  -Ephesians 1:7-8

 

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Ron Burgandy is kind of a big deal. I am not.

I am not notable.

The only signature I pass out to people is the one at the bottom of my work email.

When you call my phone, you actually get me.

I do not have an assistant, handler or agent.

I drive myself places.

I can go out in public and go unrecognized.

I do not have merch or swag.

No one has ever lined up to see me.

These are all facts.  But, I did grow up with a bunch of people who are pretty famous now.  I’m from a small beach town in south Florida called Vero Beach.  It’s about half way between Daytona Beach and Miami.  I lived on the beach side of town, about a 5-minute walk from the river and the ocean.  I spent much of my youth hanging out on boats or at the beach.  Vero Beach, for generations, has affectionately been referred to as “Zero Beach” by bored high schoolers.  Not a lot usually happens in Vero Beach, which is why it’s particularly exciting when you can turn on the television and see people you know.

— This begins the name-dropping portion of the blog —

Jake Owen and Mardy Fish

Jake Owen and Mardy Fish.  Photo by Sam Wolfe

I used to play basketball with country star Jake Owen (@jakeowen) and tennis star Mardy Fish (@mardyfish). These guys do regular charity work to raise money for kids from the Vero Beach area.

Tilky Jones

Tilky Jones

Rising actor, musician and Nashville heartthrob Tilky Jones (@tilkymjones) used to come to my birthday parties.  He wasn’t born in Vero Beach, but we went to elementary school together where he rapped an original song “Get Busy, Not Dizzy” (a very Saved by the Bell-esque anti-drug anthem).  On Nashville, Tilky had a recurring role as Hayden Panettiere’s love interest, Sean Butler.

Tiffany (Simons) Corr

Tiffany (Simons) Corr

Tiffany Simons, NBC Sports & NBCSports.com talent, and I went to high school together.  She had a love for photography and is an awesome person to be around.  I don’t think I can remember her not smiling.  I’ve seen her interview pro athletes and cover the Mountain Dew Tour of action sports.

Sam Marine & Scott Stapleton

Sam Marine & Scott Stapleton

Sam Marine (middle) and Scott Stapleton (far right) both play in the successful indie rock band, Phosphorescent (@phosphorescent).  They have recently appeared on several late night talk shows and their new album, Muchacho, has gotten lots of great press and gets plenty of play on my speakers.  I became pretty good friends with Scott throughout high school, mainly during lunch trips to Miami Subs while blaring Pantera or Type O Negative on the way.  I photographed a couple of Scott’s concerts during his days with Dark Angel Divine.

—  This now concludes the name-dropping portion of the blog —

There are plenty of others that are making their mark as notable fashion designers, bloggers, Army Special Forces and lots of other amazing careers as well.

In addition to these former classmates, Vero Beach is also proud to have writers Carl Hiaasen and Stuart Woods associated with it, other musicians like Alison Mosshart and apparently MLB superstar Prince Fielder even went to private school for a couple years in Vero Beach (I had no idea).

Seeing these people on TV is fun, it’s exciting to hear their music or see them on SportsCenter.  You naturally want to cheer for people from your hometown or the college you went to.  It’s nice to celebrate the famous people who walked where you walked and ate where you ate.

I’m completely content with not making anyone’s list of “people I once knew.”  I have no jealousy or desire to have people drop my name.  But, what I do have aspirations to hear one day comes from Matthew 25.

The subject of the parable is a man who is going on a long journey and entrusts some of his money with his servants.  He gives one servant five talents (several years’ wages), another servant two talents and the last servant one talent.  The man receiving five talents invested his money and ended up with five more talents.  The man receiving two talents did the same thing and got two more.  But, the third man buried his talent in a hole.  When the master finally returned home, his servants brought him the talents.

To the servants who invested and increased the money, the master said “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master’s happiness!”

This is exactly the type of recognition I’m seeking.  See, we are all in different places and have different talents (the skill kind).  Some were born in to wealth, some were born in to a manageable life, some were born in to little.  Some were born into loving homes, some broken homes.  Some were born in to free countries, others were born in to countries fill with war, discrimination and conflict.  Jesus points this out in the parable and emphasizes that it’s what you do with your situation that matters.  It’s about how you respond to what you have and use it to serve your master.

I struggle when I’m around a lot of other mature Christians.  I grew up believing in God, but I wasn’t “saved” until I was 22 and even then, I didn’t start really growing in my faith until 2007 or 2008.  When I’m around other Christian men and women who are constantly quoting Scripture or recalling Bible stories, I feel quite tiny.  This topic came up at a men’s Bible study recently.  A friend of mine confessed the same feelings of inadequacy.

By being faithful to the master, the servants received great praise. “Well done, good and faithful servant!”  How cool is that?  How great would it be to hear the Lord greet us with that when we run through the Pearly Gates.  Despite not having any celebrity status or very public platform, we still have that opportunity.

This is OK.  Perfectly OK.

I’m never going to be a pastor with many published books or with a speaking tour.  I’m not going to have people tuning in to see what I will do on TV this week.  I’m not going to sell tickets to anyone to see me perform. Despite all this, I still have talents that I am called to use in my circles of influence.

My prayer is that I will use the gifts I was given to completely serve and glorify God.  I want God secretly cheering when I’m being obedient in my service.  I want him to look out at my life and say, ‘Way to go!  I knew him back when he was in elementary school,’ or ‘Hey, I created that guy!’  I want God to be proud of how I love people and how I show God’s love to people.  Love is something you share, not something you keep inside.  If I give enough of it out and make it compound in to more love, maybe then God can say ‘Well done, come and share my happiness!’

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